Ladies, would you rather be a mistress or a wife?

Written by Rosemary Wachiye 2011-11-16 12:06:00 Read 461 Times

Would you rather be a man’s mistress or the wife? Most ladies in the current generation will rather be mistresses with so many reasons they say.

Most married men in this era have enough time to interact with their mistress, have money set to treat them well, pay their rent, buy them basic needs and ensure they are comfortable.

 

On the other hand such men spent less time with their immediate families, they go back home late in the night when the children are a sleep and they get to spend fewer hours with their wives which basically calculate to sleeping on the same bed and nothing more.

 

The men come back home late and tired from a busy day at work and thereafter a visit at the mistresses house where they relax, take a bath, have a meal, have sex and then later go home. The duties that were at some point meant for the wife are no longer done by the wife but instead the mistresses have taken over.

 

The wives on the other hand are expected to be conservative, submissive, to keep quiet and never to confront the husband over any mischievous behavior because if they do so, they are battered.

 

A wife in some cases is expected to struggle to feed the family, to provide the family’s needs single handedly, to appear to be a home maker, to be able to undergo all the problems that come with marriage and persevere to the end.

 

The mistress has all the freedom she needs to interact with other people other than family since there are no ties binding her to commitment in marriage.

 

The wife needs to uphold self respect, present herself in a wifely manner, not to raise her voice out in public, always to consult from the husband before making any decision and to sit back to be represented by the husband.

 

The wife’s task to ensure the husband appears presentable, cleans for him, washes his clothes, brush his shoes, ties his tie, but after that the man will appear with his mistress for the major functions, was it to make him look better for someone else?

 

Mistress has details of his bank accounts, his new assets, his businesses and plots, something which the wife will only get to hear of when the final will is drafted and they have been divided among the children, his wife and of course the mistress.

 

Someone may say that this is a thing of the past, but no, it’s so current with us. Take a look at most families around you, the father is extremely presentable while the wife is left looking like the house girl except for working class wives who can groom themselves well, the children have no shoes and even clothes, they only bear his last name for identity.

 

Some husbands have made it a routine to visit their families in the rural once per year and whenever they appear it’s in the festive season, they carry with them basic needs for the family and after one week of visiting they leave the wife pregnant only to reappear a year later. Some don’t even know each of their children’s names and age.

 

Some men still believe in wives and children being left at the village, they end up living good life with their mistresses in the towns and father more children that only appear in their funerals claiming to be lawful wives and children while expecting a share of his wealth.

 

A mistress is loved for her outspoken and outgoing character, she is taken out for drinks, meets the business partners of the man, she is out to parties with him and even carried along on job conferences. But the wife is always left at home; she is not mention anything about going out, the only time she is out with him is when they are escorting the children to boarding school which mostly is the wife’s task.

 

Being a wife to some extend means sitting on the periphery as you watch your man look good around other women; who could be his secretary, his lawyer, his business partner, his colleagues at work and many more who double up as his mistress.

 

Being a wife is just but a title for publicity, to be recognized by the family and friends of the husband but those who live up to the title are the mistress.

 

A wife should be ready to be given second priority; her needs come after the mistresses’, which depends with existence of children in the marriage who come second then she follows. 

 

A mistress on the other hand appears with him in every important meeting, she has details of all his endeavors and can represent him in his absence something which is never bestowed to the wife, she only is told of the occurrences in the office and their family assets most of which she has never seen.

 

The wife is the mother to the man’s children, she is the official beneficiary of his wealth in his death, she is called by his name and she is respected by family and friends for her struggle to strengthen the marriage and family ties.

 

So would you rather be a wife or a mistress?